Through a Glass Darkly

Sometimes it really sucks to be weird. One of those times is when someone asks you about your religion. I say, “I’m a Witch,” and then I have to correct the person I’m speaking with because they’re making assumptions that don’t fit with my version of things. Same thing happens in a different direction if I say, “I’m into the Norse Gods, particularly Freya.” Now this doesn’t happen often; I can talk a good game with a devotee of almost every major religion in America, and often shock the heck out of people by knowing their holy book better than they do and then telling them I’m not of their religion. But if I’m trying to describe my spiritual practise to you, then you need to know where I’m coming from, and sometimes the best description is to first describe what it’s NOT. So here go the two major categories:

I am NOT a Wiccan. When I read The Spiral Dance in 1985, I came away with the impression that “Wiccan” was an older word for witch that might be more acceptable to the public. I continued practising, joined a coven, moved away; during that time, as a poor college student, I was too broke for new books. When I could afford them, about three years later, I was astonished; Wicca now had dogma, and specific views, and prescriptions for how you should be doing things. Eww. This was not the religion I had signed up for, which specifically provided for believing as you would and doing things your own way. I’ve been a Witch ever since.

I am NOT Asatru. When I started pondering which path to follow, I had a pretty clear idea that the direction for me to head was Northwards. I’d been an Anglo-Saxon in the SCA since my second event, where someone at the bardic circle toasted to Harold, “the last True King of England;” in researching what he meant, I ran into Anglo-Saxon English history, which led to how they lived, which led to the Norse Gods. I was drawn to them in a way I had never been by any other pantheon or mythology; though the resources were scarce, I read what I could find. On a BBS system in the early 90s I ran into the word “Asatru” for the first time, and wrote to the address provided for more information. A monthish later I received a newsletter with my letter printed in it, along with a few others, and a rant about how witches couldn’t “really” worship the Norse Gods. Gee, thanks. Since then I’ve gotten more educated; I’ve read the good stuff and the bad, and recognized the bad for what it was. But I’m too ‘fluffy bunny’ for Asatru; I don’t do sacrifices, and I still want to work with magic. I’d never fit in.

And that’s OK. I don’t ever expect to find a group that fits completely with my mix of witchcraft, Freya, divination, Zen and Tao, Discordianism, and general weirdness. When stymied by the FaceBook religion question, I put “Eclectic Taoist Heathen Hedge-Witch.” As I start practising regularly again, and try to study seidh and spae and whatever else beckons to me, that will probably change, as it has in the past. I still wear the Learner’s Cord I was given in a Training Circle. I’ve always said that if I ever stop learning I’ll be dead. New stuff is fun! And so is the spiral curve of learning new things about familiar topics. So defining what I’m not is not meant to be negative; it’s simply presented as fact, so you can get to know me.